Ripper Roo's Revenge
by The-Onyx-LoLita
Summary: N. Gin must become the 'hero' for a day. With the help of Crash and the not-so-helpful Cortex, will he be able to return the island back to Equilibrium?
1. Chapter One: Potions

Potions

Don't you want to know how Neo got that 'N' on his forehead? I stamped it there when we were both attending the Academy of Evil…That was along time ago…He doesn't wash you see. He says it is because that Bandicoot stole his deodorant and soap but I don't believe him. I have to work with him, day in day out and he has the worst smelling armpits in the whole _world_!

Neo Cortex was running up and his science lab, adding to the stench that already flowed from his armpits. (I reckon that N. Brio died by inhaling the green smoke that was emitted from his body.)

"Where I leave that potion?" He wailed, waving his arms around his head crazily.

"You gave them to Ripper Roo, master." I replied, tinkering with some of the electrical equipment in front of me.

"Go and fetch it off him!" Neo Cortex commanded, picking up a book named 'How To Beat A Bandicoot.'

I felt the anger bubbling inside me, as well as the missile in my head attempting to sizzle my brain. "Ahhhh!" I wailed, clutching my head. "Yes, master." I attempted to walk out of the room whilst my vision was blurred and the throbbing in my missile/right side of my head continued. Walking down the steep stairs to the basement/asylum where we kept Ripper Roo - apart from when he was of use to use of course - was an interesting experience. I never knew that there were so many different shades of grey until I had become Dr. Neo Cortex's assistant.

I arrived at the white-walled room of Roo a few minutes later, slowly and carefully opening the door, remembering to duck so that I didn't hit my missile on the door frame.

Ripper Roo sat before me, a straitjacket fastened tightly around his body, drool coming from his mouth and a flask of red potion positioned in front of him.

"Can I have the potion please, Roo?" I asked, trying my best to sound civil, although the red, swirled eyes were following me with unnerving concentration.

"It's mine!" Ripper Roo replied in his manic voice. "Mine, mine, mine!" He started bouncing around on the floor. "Mine for racing! Mine!"

"But Roo, you've already used most of our supplies for racing with. I am just going to take this one back…" I took hold of the thin neck of the flask and tried to make headway for the door before Ripper Roo could notice.

"MINE!" He wailed, twisting and turning in his straitjacket, falling over onto his side. "Mine!" He had somehow managed to roll over towards me and was now gnawing on my leg.

"Ah! Let go!" I wailed, the missile in my head smoking with my stress and panic. "Ahh! Help me! Stop it! Master, save me!" My screams were futile, as Cortex would have been unable to hear me from all the way down in the basement anyway…but it made me feel slightly less alone and panic stricken.

"Mine. Mine. Miiinnneee!" Ripper Roo wailed through a mouthful of my leg.

"Ooooo!" I said, feeling my anger reach boiling point. "Get off of my leg you idiotic Rabbit/Kangaroo!"

Ripper Roo backed off, whimpering to himself.

I regained what little dignity I already had and walked out of the room, gripping the potion in my hand.

The lab was now buzzing with life. Cortex had accidentally opened the cages doors for all the lab rats and they were now scuttling along the floor.

"Eeeek!" I shrieked, a migraine blowing around the right side of my head once again as I fled, in what felt like all directions, trying to keep my legs safe from be savaged again.

"Don't drop that potion!" Neo shrieked, wielding his broom around the room, trying to swat the rodents.

I put the potion on the shelf. "You need to pick them up!" I squeaked over the sound of Cortex screaming. I scooped one up in my hands and pushed it back into it's cage. Turning to look around the rest of the room, I began to gather the rest of the rodents and reinstate them in their cages.

Hours later, I was in my office (which was actually a broom cupboard with a small, spinning chair and metallic desk), placing samples of the potion onto dishes with a pipette when I heard the doorbell for Cortex's castle go off. It was the recorded sound of a screaming bandicoot. One in particular: Crash Bandicoot.

I stopped working only seconds later when I heard a _female _voice coming from the lab.

I took the potion by the neck and hastily left the room, leaving my office chair spinning around madly.

"Yes, Tawna, I am willing to help." I heard Cortex chortle, almost in a perverted way.

Tawna was stood in front of Neo Cortex, flicking her blonde hair over her shoulder every now and again as she talked.

I placed the potion on the nearest table whilst attempting to straighten my clothes and readjust my missile so it was at a perfect forty-five-degree-angle, then winced as I felt it wriggle around the hole in my head, making my eye jump wildly.

Cortex looked like he was about to drool all over her slim, orange legs as well as her trainers.

"Hello, Tawna." I said, swallowing hard and trying to smooth down my now spiky hair and stop the irritating nerve that I had set off in my eye.

She turned her gaze to me. "You've got to help me! Something or somebody has taken Pinstripe!" She screamed.

I hastily placed the potion on the table beside me before standing at Neo's side. (Trying my best not to hold my nose.) "Of course we'll help, right master?" I turned my eyes on Cortex.

His teeth were chattering. "Y-Y-Yes!" He stuttered.

Tawna swooped forward to hold kiss us both on the cheek, grimacing after her lips had touched Neo Cortex. "Thank you! We'll take my car."

I wiggled the missile around, moving off of whatever it was that was making my eye jump like a crazy kangaroo and walked out of the lab, remembering to grab my bag of Wumpa fruit before I left. You never know when you might have the sudden need for them.

_I got the idea for this when I went through a phase of only playing Crash Bandicoot games all day last week and I remembered just how much I loved them. My childhood came flooding back and I thought: 'I've gotta write a Fanfic about these awesome characters.' _

_Hope You Enjoy!_


	2. Chapter Two: The Kidnap

"_It feels like forever since I updated this F__anfic. Sorry if I kept anybody waiting. I hope that it will be well worth it. Review please."_

The Kidnap - 

We were now travelling in Tawna's car. She had forced Neo Cortex to sit in the back of the car with me, much to my distaste. I couldn't really blame her I guess. If I had a choice, I wouldn't have wanted to stay too near to Neo for too long. …Not that I am complaining about my job as his assistant, but he is just rather unpleasant in himself.

Uka Uka materialised in the passenger seat next to Tawna. "How did this happen?" He shouted, soundly like his normal, bad tempered self.

"Pinstripe was rat-napped by a lunatic." Tawna said in a voice that didn't quite hide her hysteria.

"A lunatic, you say?" I asked. I had a good knowledge of crazy people. I did, after all, work for one of the most insane people that I had ever met. The only creature with less sanity would have to be Ripper Roo. That creature was almost completely unhinged, the almost being a very small part of him. Doctor Roo we call him and he does come out every so often. I was rather disappointed that he did not come out when I needed to get that potion off him earlier. After we ran out of explosive boxes, he started stealing our potions to try and blow up Crash whilst racing.

"I do say," Tawna nodded her head wildly, her eyes still kept on the road. "I heard his unhinged laughter as poor Pinstripe was dragged away. It was awfully familiar." She mused, the car swerving slightly as she stopped paying her full attention.

"We must deal with this immediately. If Pinstripe was taken by a maniac, then there is no telling what could be done!" Neo said triumphantly, waving his arms all over the place.

I felt myself gag. I know that he is a genius, but even they need to shower sometimes.

"How can we be sure that we will be able to get them? If it is that Bandicoot, we need to have a new strategy." Uka Uka mused to himself.

I nodded. "Yes, he seems to always find some way to defeat us." I agreed, feeling slightly nauseous at the memory of all our defeats. It made my eyes twitch.

Neo clicked his fingers and beamed. "We have plenty of TNT boxes and the potions are coming along well-"

"We have used them all before!" Uka Uka interrupted. "We are in need of something new." He blasted through the air.

Neo cowered in his seat next to me.

"We'll just have to come up with a new plan to destroy that Bandicoot." I said, clenching my hand into a fist.

Aku Aku materialised at Uka Uka's side and turned to face him. "Where have you taken Coco?" He asked, in his usual way.

I quickly looked from Aku Aku to Uka Uka and then at Neo, whose face looked more confused than I felt.

"We have taken Coco nowhere," Uka Uka replied, grumbling the words. "Where have you and your blasted Bandicoot taken Pinstripe?" He spat back.

"We have taken Pinstripe nowhere." Aku Aku replied, almost mirroring Uka Uka's words.

"But, if you haven't, then who has?" I asked, almost squeaking. We were about to encounter a new evil, I feared.


End file.
